Skip to main content

''Schmo Knows''


“Schmo is my shepherd, he shall predict the NCAA top 25 for me. He will leadeth me to the bookie, so that I may make money.”, Book of Schmo, The 23rd Schmoism.

You see, my book keeps getting better and better.

Okay, now down to the business at hand. The profound, prolific and practically perfect pundit of pigskin prognostication only missed one game last week.

True, my picks were not published in this paper last week because we did not run, but the other illustrious news outlet I work for was more than happy to lend the Schmoman a hand.

The only game I missed was the Oklahoma/Okla. State game, but who really cares about a bunch of plains drifting Texas wannabees anyway?

The fact of the matter is, I’m back and better than ever. But before I delve into my picks for this week, I want to thank all those who have responded to my column this year.

Though not all of you agreed with the smartest man alive (and those that didn’t should be grateful I the Great One even mentioned you), I really appreciate your responses.

To recap a few teams seasons:

The Irish returned to glory this year, and though they lost two games, Notre Dame is still guaranteed a good bowl game.

Congrats to Tyrone and God’s team, the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.

The Buckeyes of Ohio State proved wrong many naysayers, including this one, and went undefeated this season. O-State now has an opportunity to do something emorable by no choaking in a big game. Best of luck to the Buckeyes (They’re gonna need it).

The Tennessee Volunteers stank up the SEC this season. It’s a good thing they didn’t play UTM, or the Skyhawks would have won three games this season.

To all the crying Vols fans, the only bowl Tennessee is going to is the punch bowl. Get over it you obnoxious guys from Knoxville.

Well, now that I’ve cleared the air, I will slip into my trance-like state and profoundly produce my picks for this week. (All rankings based on ESPN/ USA Today Coaches’ Poll)

#1 Miami hosts #14 Virginia Tech. I’m sorry, maybe it’s just me, but a school who's mascot is the “Hoakie” is just plain sad.

The Hurricanes will not only layeth the smack down on the sorry “Hoakie,” but probably lay into their pitiful families who are in the stands. This one will be a bloodbath. MIAMI

#17 Washington State will take on UCLA. The Bruins are good, but not good enough to beat a fiesty Cougar Clan. The boys from above Oregon should roll. WASHINGTON STATE

#4 Georgia takes on #22 Arkansas for the SEC championship. Whinning TN fans are the only people in the nation that care about this game besides the two teams’ followings. The Razorbacks are a good team, but the Bulldogs are just a little bit better. GEORGIA

#9 Oklahoma takes on #12 Colorado. The verdict is in, the Sooners are through. COLORADO

Well, that’s all for this semester, Happy Holidays to all. And P.S. Can somebody please payoff my gambling debt for Christmas?