This semester has been unlike any of the others for me. Seems like so many different issues have been presented to me all at once to deal with.

But being the strong person I am and always try to be, I’ve went on about my merry way and worried only about the most important thing in my life, which is my family.

My aunt had been at St. Francis Hospital in the ICU since Sept. 6 fighting for her life with cancer.

Of course, my family and I been praying every day and night for her healing and had faith that God could and would heal her.

Though we felt that sooner than later everything would be okay, it hurt to see her suffer. It took a lot of strength for us, as well as my aunt, to not give up.

Nevertheless, my mom, who’s an accounting major at U of M, withdrew from her classes to assure availability for my aunt’s needs. My mom and my cousin Vicki, been with her every single day.

Halloween came. I had made a lot of plans. I had 2 tests on Thursday so I felt I had more than enough reason to relax and kick it that night.

As I was getting my things together, my phone rang. It was my mom calling to update me on my aunt’s condition.

I found out that my favorite aunt, my confidant, my good friend, as well as my loved one was gone. She had left this earth to be with God.

Though I’ve had loved ones pass before, they’ve never been as close to me as my Aunt Ann.

She and I had a very special relationship. All of a sudden, nothing else mattered. What was I going to do?

What about my family and everyone that knew and loved her?

Aunt Ann played a big role in the lives of so many people! We need her!

The hurt I felt at this point was unlike any hurt that I’ve ever felt before. It wasn’t like losing your first love or your favorite pet.

It wasn’t like getting into conflict with a loved one or best friend.

It was more like a piece of me was gone. A part of me was shattered.

My heart was literally taken out of me and cut into a million pieces! Or at least that’s what it felt like.

My Aunt Ann was the one I called on for everything! She was that cool aunt that convinced your parents to say yes when they said no.

Or talk all night to about things you would talk about with your close friends. I could tell her things that I couldn’t say to anyone else and she understood me and loved me just the same.

Then, I began to feel selfish and vain. If only I would’ve been there more than I was.

I could’ve come home more often. I could’ve even withdrew from school like my mom!

I’m more than sure she knows I love her a lot, but I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to her.

I wish I could’ve been there, by her side, when she took her last breath.

Though I understood the severity of the situation, I feel I took it too lightly.

But I just knew in my heart that she was going to be fine! I really believed that God was going to heal her.

I didn’t think He would take her away because of her importance to our family.

I began to ask God—Why did He do this to me? To our family? I asked Him—How could He do this to us??? She had such a huge impact on everyone’s lives!

Nevertheless, I had to regroup. I couldn’t be mad at God. I couldn’t even be mad at myself. Once again, I was being selfish.

I was being selfish to think about myself or anyone but my aunt at a time like this.

She was in so much pain, and God knew she was tired of suffering. I had to ask Him for forgiveness for being angry with Him.

People say that it is during the difficult times that true friends become apparent. So I’d like to thank my friends for being here for me.

Thank you Valerie, Tenika, JeVita for opening up your home to me that night.

Thank you KeWanda, Angela, and Felicia for helping me to stay strong.

Last but not least, my best friend, my ace, and my girl Toni for being my shoulder to cry on. Like always you’ve continuously been here for me.

Without you ladies, there’s no telling what I would have done—being by myself with no one to talk to.

I also want to thank God for loving my aunt enough to want her in heaven with Him, by His side.

There’s a quote that says: “It takes strength to hold on, but it takes a lot more to let go.”

I speak for my family and I when I say, We love you; you will be missed.”

On behalf of myself, I want to say, “Thank you, Aunt Ann, for being YOU in my life. Goodbye until we meet again.”

Johnniecia Lee is a junior Marketing major from Memphis.