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Counselor's Corner

This week’s topic: “Women Handle Stress Differently”


The latest study from the University of California at Los Angeles suggests that women’s friendships play a unique role in helping to diminish stress.

Until the past few years, most research on the biological and psychological effects of stress was done on men.

Researchers have described the classic “fight or flight” reaction that occurs as a result of the physiological changes produced by the body, but recent studies show that women also may release the hormone oxytocin in response to stress.

Oxytocin is involved in what researchers Shelly Taylor, Laura Klen and others call the “tend and befriend” pattern of seeking comfort from others, and when this hormone is released, stress levels tend to go down for women.

We know that stress can cause or exacerbate serious health problems, and that friendships have medical as well as emotional benefits.

According to the American Medical Women’s Association, “women appear to be more vulnerable to stress-induced illnesses.” For women, having connections with other people can reduce stress and improve their health.

Studies have shown that women with breast cancer, for example, have a better survival rate if they participate in a support group. The large-scale study of women’s health called the Nurse’' Health Study by Harvard Medical school showed that women with more friendships were healthier and happier as they got older.

In evolutionary terms, it makes sense that men may have more of a propensity for the “fight or flight” reaction, while the “tend and befriend” paradigm was useful for women who often had responsibility for caring for youngsters while under stress. This can cause conflicts in male-female relationships if the man tries to use aggression or withdrawal to cope with stress while the woman seeks to move closer to others.

For both men and women, the keys to successful stress management are awareness, self-care and good communication skills. For example, if you know that mid-term exam time will be stressful for you, it would be useful to try not to schedule other avoidable stressors at the same time (like major dental work), to pay attention to your health habits, and to be clear with the people in your life that you need to set aside time for study. Managing your time wisely will help decrease the stress in your life dramatically.

These strategies won’t eliminate stress, but they make it more likely that you will cope productively. In addition, many women may find that planning time with friends during high-stress times helps them to feel more relaxed.

If you need to talk to someone confidentially about how to handle stress, feel free to make an appointment with one of the professional at the Counseling Center, at 587-7720.