It was an awkward moment for me and I’m sure for the two guys sitting at the bar as well. It must be difficult to get up the courage to offer to buy drinks for two complete strangers who are sitting and having dinner nearby. Unfortunately for the dynamic duo they couldn’t have chosen two worse targets. My friend is happily married and I don’t drink. Actually, I almost never drink.

Yes, I’m one of those strange folk society labels a nerd. At least I’m sure that’s what most people think of me when they find out I don’t drink and definitely how I’m made to feel for being a non-drinker. I feel left out most of the time.

We Americans love to celebrate and will use any excuse at any time. Just give us a reason to party and we’ll have one. I remember last year my neighbor bought a new riding lawn mower. Of course he had to show it off to all the guys and guess what happened next? Party time! Neighborhood block party, complete with kegs.

When I tell people I don’t drink I assume that they’re thinking that I’m either a recovering alcoholic, a Holy Roller or that I’m boring. I really do try to understand. People simply don’t know how to respond. I think they’d react better if I told them that I was sent here on a mission from another planet to observe the human race.

I’m not an alcoholic nor do I want to turn back the hands of time to Prohibition. As long as you are of legal age I don’t care if you drink. Drink your body weight if it makes you happy, as long as you’re not operating machinery around me or those I love.

So why don’t I drink? Partly, it’s because I just don’t feel the need or desire to drink. I’ve never cared about alcohol, even back in my teenage years. Years ago I was told that I would have to acquire the taste. Now why would I want to force myself to drink something until I get accustomed to the taste? It makes no sense to me. Nor did I give a darn for looking ‘cool.’ I’ve always been too independent to care about being part of the ‘in crowd’ and that is probably why I never started smoking either. Also, I’m easily affected by drugs of any kind, even aspirin. Just one drink makes me very sleepy. Try to explain that to a guy who’s buying drinks and expecting a very different outcome.

Am I missing out? Sometimes it feels like I am. Something happens when people drink and socialize. They seem to let go of all their troubles and relax. Plus, it’s a great equalizer. It’s difficult to pick on one person when everyone is acting like an idiot.

For me, it means that the cocktail hour or ladies night just doesn’t exist. Fads about the latest drink just pass me by and do I even need to mention that the traditional Spring break party-till-you-pass-out event is definitely out of my league.

Sometimes I do feel alone. All of my friends drink to one degree or another. Most of them accept me as I am but there are some who just can’t help themselves and insist upon trying to change me. I do have a couple of wine coolers in the fridge. They’ve been there about six months but they’re supposed to get better with age, aren’t they?

I admit that drinking can be fun. At a recent birthday party for my boss she insisted I have something. I didn’t want to, but it’s hard to refuse your boss. She brought me a plastic cup and I had my first vodka jell-o shot. It wasn’t bad either. The room got warmer and everyone seemed nicer.

Actually, I have the most fun just sitting back and watching everyone else drink. Just think of all the stories I can tell on everyone. After all, why did you think I was taking all those notes?